I became a mom when I was 23. It was something unexpected but definitely not unwanted. While I look forward to finally holding my dear baby in my arms, I also face fears and worries the closer I am to that day. Am I mature enough to brave this journey of motherhood? Will I be able to provide all he needs?
I knew that this new chapter will change my life in a whole new level. But I was not expecting how big of change it’s going to bring to me as a person. I was not financially ready when I got pregnant. I was in the phase of exploring and wondering where I fit career wise. Needless to say, I do not have a stable job. Though I’m already living independently by that time, I am still unsure how I am going to raise my child with this kind of lifestyle. I tried to prepare myself for the next 9 months by teaching myself how to be a better mom. Planning ahead. Setting goals. Learning the how to’s of the early childhood. But as everybody says no one can ever be prepared enough. When the baby came out, all the time I dedicated in preparation flew out of the window.
Motherhood taught me and changed me to a completely different being. It showed me that my life before was not as hard as its going to be moving forward but it will never be as fulfilling as it is now. It taught me how to be patient even when I thought that my patience has already reached its limit. It made me understand how selfless one person can be. It makes you kinder. More generous. How love can be so unconditional and that it makes you want to dream things bigger than what you’ve ever dreamed before.
While it may not be all glitters and gold because there’s no story of motherhood that won’t go through phases, you will always find yourself smiling back at the face of your little one as you breathe in and remind yourself that you’ll make it through with all the things it taught you like patience and a whole lot more.